Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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