Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
