How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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