Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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