worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
