Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
