So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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