i wish my penis had a tongue
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You're like the curious george of whores
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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