My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You're like the curious george of whores
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
