I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
