I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
