I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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