Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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