butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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