Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
