lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I want to be your penis for a week.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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