spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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