i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
two words...techno handjob
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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