I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
