wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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