I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
