Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
