I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
