birth control should be required to get into college
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
