Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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