Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
