Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
