There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
