Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
