Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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