You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
