You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
