How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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