The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
