Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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