tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
