I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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