Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
