So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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