He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i drank out of a bidet.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
