I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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