my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
