the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
