He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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