Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
