he thought i was a dude.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
