there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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