When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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