Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
