Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
