So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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