I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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