So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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