We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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