lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
