is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
