the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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